It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
