Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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