I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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