we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
