you guys were way drunker than both of me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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