I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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