I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
