Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
