Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
