There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
