called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
