I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
