Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
