awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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