is your mom at the bar?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
