Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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