I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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