a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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