we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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