he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
