my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
