thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
