I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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