I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
