My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
