Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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