just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
