she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dear god my vagina.
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