she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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