two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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