I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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