you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
