tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
