Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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