So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize