hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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