omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
