dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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