Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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