let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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