break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
