White coat. Heels.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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