yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
