i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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