I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize