I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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