she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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