In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
