Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
