a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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