that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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