New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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