I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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