Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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