Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
