How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
