I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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