I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
